How to make Olympics interesting..

Source: worth1000.com

Funny Test Paper

That 4 Letter WORD !!!

A young couple got married and went on their honeymoon

When they got back, the bride immediately called up her mother

"Well," said her mother," so how was the honeymoon?"

"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."  

Suddenly she burst out crying.

 

"But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language -- things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to  take me home..., "PLEASE MAMA!" 

 

"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You need to stay with your husband and work this out. Now, tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?"

 

"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!"

 

"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!"

Sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he used  words like: dust, wash, iron, and cook..."

"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the mother.

God created.......

God created the donkey  

and said to him.
"You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass,
you will have no intelligence and you will live 50 years."

The donkey answered:
"I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much. Give me only 20 years"
God granted his wish.
.........................................................................................

God created the dog
and said to him:
"You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. "

The dog answered:
"Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.
" God granted his wish.
.........................................................................................

God created the monkey

and said to him:
"You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks. You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. "

The monkey answered:
"To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years."
God granted his wish.
.........................................................................................

Finally God created man ...
and said to him:
"You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.
You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years."

Man responded:
"Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little,
give me the 30 years that the donkey refused,
the 15 years that the dog did not want and
the 10 years the monkey refused."

God granted man's wish
.........................................................................................

And since then, man lives 20 years as a man,

marries and spends  30 years like a donkey, working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown, he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating whatever is given to him,

so that when he is old, he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren. 

 

How to Catch a LION

Newton's Method:
 
Let, the lion catch you.

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

Implies you caught lion.

 
Einstein Method:

Run in the direction opposite to that of the lion.

Due to higher relative velocity, the lion will also run faster and will get tired soon.

Now you can trap it easily.  

  

Software Engineer Method:
 
Catch a cat and claim that your testing has proven that it’s a Lion.

If anyone comes back with issues tell that you will upgrade it to Lion.


Indian Police Method:

Catch any animal and interrogate it & torture it to accept that it’s a Lion.

Rajnikanth Method:

 
Keep warning the lion that u may come and attack anytime.

The lion will live in fear and die soon in fear itself.

 Jayalalitha Method:
 

Send Police commissioner Muthukaruppan around 2AM and kill it, while it's sleeping!


Manirathnam Method (director):

 
Make sure the lion does not get sun light and put the lion in a dark

room with a single candle lighted.

Keep murmuring something in its ears.

The lion will be highly irritated and commit suicide.


Karan Johar Method (director):
 

Send a lioness into the forest.

Our lion and lioness fall in love with each other.

Send another lioness in to the forest, followed by another lion.

First lion loves the first lioness and the second lion loves the 2nd lioness.

But 2nd lioness loves both lions.

Now send another lioness (third) into the forest.

You don't understand right... ok....read it after 15 yrs, then also u wont!


Yash Chopra method (director):

 
Take the lion to Australia or US.. and kill it in a good scenic location.

 

Govinda method:

 
Continuously dance before the lion for 5 or 6 days.

 
Menaka Gandhi method:

 
Save the lion from a danger and feed him with some vegetables continuously.


George bush method:

 
Link the lion with Osama bin laden and shoot him!!!

  

RaviShastri method:

 
Ask the lion to bowl at u.

U bat for 200 balls and score 1 run

Lion tired and surrenders..


All the best and be careful if u r trying out any!!