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Thursday, October 7, 2010

People With Conflicting Names Getting Married


What would happen if two people with conflicting names got married?


What would Bo Derek be called if she married Don Ho? Bo Ho?


Well, here are a few more:


- If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.


- If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.


- If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader.("Going up?")


- If Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.


- If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.


- If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.("Sorry Ma'am, what was your name again?")


- If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.("Ouch!")


- If Tuesday Weld married Hal March III, she'd be Tuesday March 3.


- If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

- If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.("Double Ouch!")


- If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.("This marriage wouldn't last!")


- How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.


- If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.

- Nog (Related to Quark on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.("He he")


- If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.


- If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.


- If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.("Sing along!")