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Monday, February 1, 2010

INDIANS...

 

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:
 
    A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
    
    B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
    
    C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
    
    D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
    
    E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
    
    F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
    
    G. 2 American men and 1 American woman
    
    H. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
 
    What a Crazy coincidence!
    
    One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:
    
    A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
    
    B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.
    
    C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
    
    D. The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.
    
    E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.
    
    F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.
    
    G. The two American men are contemplating suicide.  The American woman is bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, how she can do everything that they can do, about the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how her relationship with her mother is improving.
    
    H. What happened to the Indians????
 
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    The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman...


Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Our very own Mithun special

Recently the father of physics made a visit to earth to watch a movie. He watched a few Indian movies and had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logics and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.In the movie of Mithun Chakravarthy, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes:

1)  Mithunda has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Mithunda is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured. Long Live Mithunda

2)  In one of the movies, Mithunda is confronted with 2 gangsters. Mithunda has a Gun but unfortunately only one bullet. Guess, what he does......He holds a knife in his hand and shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces and kills both the gangsters. Then, Mithunda utters the following dialogue "Apun ka naam hai HIRA, Apun ne sabko Chiraa".

3)  Mithunda is chased by a gangster. Mithunda has a revolver but he got no bullets in it. Guess, what he does. Nah not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots, Mithunda opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun. Bang... And the gangster dies....

4)  This was too much for our Newton to take and he was completely shaken and he decided to go back. But he happened to see a another Mithunda movie for one last time and thought that at least in one movie he will follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops not so fast. The climax finally arrives. Mithunda gets to know that the villain is on the the other side of a very high wall. So high that Mithunda can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Mithunda has to desperately kill the villain because its the climax. Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible..Mithunda suddenly pulls two guns from his pocket (Probably a backup). He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached the height of the wall, he shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air, with his second gun. Now the first gun fires off and the villain is dead...

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Year 2010...


 YOU KNOW YOU LIVE IN 2010 WHEN................
 
 1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
 
 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
 
 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
 
 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
 
 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is
 that they don't have e-mail addresses.
 
 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see
 if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
 
 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of
 the screen.
 
 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have
 the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for
 panic and you turn around to go and get it.
 
 9. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your
 coffee.
 
 10. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
 
        HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Monday, December 28, 2009

Difference that counts...


1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t want.

2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5. Married men live longer than single men – but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes – there’s no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change & she does.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. There are 2 times when a man doesn’t understand a woman – before marriage & after marriage.


Sunday, December 6, 2009

Santa Interview..

AN INTERESTING INTERVIEW........Santa Strikes Again!!!

Interviewer : Let me check your word Power... 
Santa : Ok Sir ....
Interviewer : Tell me the opposite of .....good.
Santa : hmmmm..... Bad
Interviewer : Come 
Santa : Go.
Interviewer : Ugly.
Santa : Pichlli.
Interviewer : PICHLLIIIII?
Santa : UGLYYYYYYYYY..
Interviewer : Shut Up.
Santa : Keep Talking.
Interviewer : now stop these all..
Santa : now carry on this all
Interviewer : abe...chup ho ja..chup ho ja..chup ho jaaaa 
Santa : abe bolta rah..bolta rah..bolta rahhh
Interviewer : Areeee yaaar
Santa : areeee dushmannnnnn
Interviewer : Get Out.
Santa : Come In.
Interviewer : Oh my God.
Santa : Oh your Devil.
Interviewer : U r Rejected.
Santa : I m selected...I M SELECTED??? REALLY?? BALLE BALLE

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