Mindblowing Rajnikant..Mind it...(Part 1)

    Guys presenting the great Indian Rajnikant..Tons n Tons of laughter..but this is just Part 1..Njoy!!!!!!!!!!

 

1. Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.

2. Rajnikant has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.

3. Rajnikant killed the Dead Sea.

4. If you spell ‘Rajanikant’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajnikant?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

5. Rajnikant can play the violin with a piano

6. Rajnikant once wrote a cheque, the bank bounced!

7. Micheal Jordan to Rajni: I can spin a ball on my finger for over two hours. Can you?

Rajni: Rascala; how do you think the earth spins!?

8. Rajnikant once ordered a plate of idli in McDonald’s, and got it.

9. When Rajnikant logs on to facebook.com, facebook updates its status  message!

10. If Rajnikant was born 100 years earlier, British would have fought to get independence from India.

What Happens to the IT Professionals after Death

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1. PROGRAMMERS

2. NETWORKING EXPERT

3. HTML / XML EXPERT

 

People With Conflicting Names Getting Married

What would happen if two people with conflicting names got married?

What would Bo Derek be called if she married Don Ho? Bo Ho?

Well, here are a few more:

- If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.

- If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.

- If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader, she'd be Ella Vader.("Going up?")

- If Oprah Winfrey married Deepak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.

- If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg, he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.

- If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.("Sorry Ma'am, what was your name again?")

- If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.("Ouch!")

- If Tuesday Weld married Hal March III, she'd be Tuesday March 3.

- If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.

- If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.("Double Ouch!")

- If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.("This marriage wouldn't last!")

- How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.

- If G. Gordon Liddy married Boutros-Boutros Ghali, then divorced him to marry Kenny G., he'd be G. Ghali G.

- Nog (Related to Quark on "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine") has no other name, so he uses it twice when getting a marriage license. If he married Howard Hughes, and then Pamela Dare, he'd be Nog Nog Hughes Dare.("He he")

- If Jack Handy (SNL writer) married Andy Capp, then married Jack Paar, then moved on to Stephen King, he'd be Jack Handy Capp Paar King.

- If Woody Allen married Natalie Wood, divorced her and married Gregory Peck, divorced him and married Ben Hur, he'd be Woody Wood Peck Hur.

- If Ivana Trump married, in succession, Orson Bean (actor), King Oscar (of Norway), Louis B. Mayer (of MGM), and Norbert Wiener (mathematician), she would then be Ivana Bean Oscar Mayer Wiener.("Sing along!")

Mumbai Local Train Rules

       While traveling by the Mumbai local trains.....ALWAYS REMEMBER....

   1) Never iron your shirt if you intend to travel during peak hours. 

            The packed train shall do the needful.    

       2) Thou shall buy a first class pass only if your company is paying for it.

       3) Else thou should be really rich with an annual income of at least Rs.10 lakhs 

            traveling by first class. Otherwise it is a public crime.

       4) Before getting off at a station always make sure to ask the person ahead of you, 

           "Uterega Kya?" This way you shall not feel left out.

      5) If you happen to be one of those few gazillion, who travel by train during peak

           hours, on a regular basis, do not spend money on gymnasiums or health 

          instructors. You will realize how effortlessly and in an innovative manner, 

         one can practice yoga while traveling.

      6) If you have already started practicing this innovative yoga, see to it that it 

           remains within the confinements of the train compartment. Try these steps 

          anywhere else and you'll soon get yourself locked up in mental asylum.

      7) Always push the person standing ahead of you. It is amusing when the person 

           ahead of you does not use a single word against you.

     8) In case you happen to sweat or if your nose starts twitching, rub the desired 

          body part on the clothes of the person standing closest to you. Your hands are 

         gonna be of no use to you at that time. 

     9) Make sure you are the tallest among those standing around you. It affects you 

          less when others have to bear the smell of your armpits.

    10) Avoid traveling in slippers or sandals. It is an accepted fact that someone 

            always climbs on to your foot.       

         Regards,

         Mumbai Dakka-Bukki Sanghatna

         Office address:

         8:45 am 12 Dabba Borivli Local

         6th Dabba from the Guard Side

         For exact location -- follow the sound of Bhajan!!!

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