What is Love?

A group of 4 to 8 year-old Children was asked, "What does love mean?" The answers they gave were broader n deeper than anyone could have imagined.


--"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday"
(Tina - age 7)


--"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night."
(Clare - Age 5)


--"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth."
(Billy - age 4)


--"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
(Rebecca - age 8)


--"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs."
(Chrissy - age 6 )


--"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
(Terri - age 4 )


--"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
(Danny - age 7)


--"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well."
(Tommy - age 6 )


--"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. That's love"
(Cindy -age 8)


--"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken."
(Elaine - age 5)


--"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day."
(Mary Ann - age 4 )

9 Months later...

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob.
So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north.

After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.

They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.

'I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'

'Don't worry,' Jack said. 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light.' The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.

Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.

They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney.

It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' said Bob

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy, I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'
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'She just died and left me everything.'

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?

TAX STRUCTURE IN INDIA

Some one Help me on TAX......

1) Qstn. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!

2) Qstn. : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!

3) Qstn. : >From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI!

4) Qstn. : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!

5) Qstn. : How do you distribute profit ?
Ans. : By way of dividend
Tax : Pay dividend distribution Tax!

6) Qstn. : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory.
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!

7) Qstn. : Do you have Office / Warehouse/ Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!

8) Qstn. : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!

9) Qstn. : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!

Ans : No
Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax!

10) Qstn. : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!

11) Qstn. : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

12) Qstn. : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX!

13) Qstn. : Have you taken or given any Service/s?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX!

14) Qstn. : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX!

15) Qstn. : Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX!

16) Qstn. : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX!

17) Qstn. : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE!

18) Qstn. : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE!

19) Qstn. : Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX!!

20) Qstn. : Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY!

21) Qstn. : Can I die now??
Ans. : Wait we are about to launch the FUNERAL TAX!!!

Why We Live as Long as We Do...

On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer I will give you a life span of sixty years."
The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty years and I'll give back the other forty."
And God agreed.

On the second day, God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I'll give back the other ten."
So God agreed (sigh).

On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a twenty year life span."
The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll do too, okay?"
And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you twenty years."
Man said, "What? Only twenty years? No way! Tell you what, I'll take my twenty, and the forty cow gave back, and the ten dog gave back and the ten monkey gave back. That makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God. "You've got a deal."

So this is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, enjoy, and do nothing;
for the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family;
for the next ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren;
and for the last ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

If Aamir Khan Did Not Make Taare Zameen Par?

If Aamir Khan Did Not Make Taare Zameen Par: A Movie Un-Review

I have a gut feeling that TZP would change people like no other movie has previously done. I know only Aamir can make a film like TZP. But let us assume he did not make it (dream on!). What would the film have been like-

• If Karan Johar made TZP

• Obvious starcast:
- Shah Rukh Khan as the arts teacher (duh duh duh!!).
- Aryan Khan as the dyslexic child (even if he could not act for nuts).
- Rani Mukerjee as the kid's mom (assuming Kajol is unavailable).
- Abhishek Bachchan as the kid's dad.
- Amitabh Bachchan as the school principal (who cares if the role is ultra minute, he can afford it).

SCRIPT:
• It would be shot in New York to appeal to the NRI audience.
• The story line would obviously be different. SRK would fall for the dyslexic kid's mom. The last scene would have the mom running to the teacher rather than the kid. And again, like in so many other movies, SRK would get someone else's girl.
• It would have one dance number.
• The film would be titled 'Kuch Taare Zameen Par.'

• If Sanjay Leela Bhansali made TZP

• Obvious starcast:
- Salman as the teacher.
- Rani as the mother.

SCRIPT:
• Of course the whole film would be shot on elaborate sets. The school would be nothing short of Harvard university.
• An orchestra would play every time anyone cried.
• Slow motion, different camera angles for every scene.
• The school uniforms would match the classroom walls even though that does not make a difference. The film would cost 60 crores.

• If Farah Khan made TZP

• Obvious starcast:
- SRK as the teacher (yawn).

SCRIPT:
• In the original TZP, Aamir makes an entry at the interval point. In Farah's version, SRK would be on screen on for 2.30 hrs out of the 2.45 hrs and would be introduced in the first scene itself.
• The story would be changed to make sure the above happened. The focus of the film would be a teacher who helps a kid fight dyslexia.
• To make it a complete entertainer, there would be a romantic angle, comedy, and action thrown in. Oh idea!! Nikumbh's character likes another teacher and the kiddo helps him.. throw in some comedy moments there and you have romance and comedy settled. For action.. hmm.. lemme see.. oh yah, the kid gets kidnapped and the teacher fights the baddies to save him. Wow!! I'm quite an imaginative writer. I can see how Farah can write a film from scratch in two weeks straight.
• The film posters would have a big SRK with the tiny image of the kid in the background.

• If Rakesh Roshan made TZP

• Obvious starcast:
- Hrithik Roshan as the teacher.
- Rehka as the Kid's Mother.
- Rakesh Roshan would do a special appearance as the Kid's Dad who gets killed by Aliens and hence the Kid's illness.

SCRIPT:
• Since Rakesh Roshan cannot think beyond science fiction these days, this film would have that too. Instead of dyslexia, the kid would have alienositis or something, a condition induced due to him witnessing an alien abduction.
• Instead of Nikumbh being an arts teacher, he would be a physics teacher, and instead of asking kids to be creative, he would ask them to challenge the science we know.
• In the scene where Nikumbh asks the kids to open their minds and make whatever they want outdoors, the kid Ishaan, instead of making a boat, would end up making a working spaceship prototype.
• Nikumbh would cure the kids problem by making a full fledged version of the kid's prototype, traveling to the alien planet, and asking them to give the kid his powers back..
• The film would have music by Rajesh Roshan ripped off from some world music.
• The film's name would again start with a K.. probably 'Kuch Aliens Taaron se Zameen Par'.
• The director would make sure Hrithik gets to show all his abilities. This would mean a scene with Roshan jr flexing his muscles, and a dance competition in the end, instead of an arts competition.

• If Priyadarshan made TZP

• Obvious starcast:
- Akshay Kumar as the teacher.
- Paresh Rawal as the Kid (Can't Believe it--).

SCRIPT:
• It would be a brainless comedy. The kid's dyslexia would be made fun of. Half the times the parents will be running after the kid from one room to the other and that, in the director's opinion, would be funny.
• The film will be full of adult jokes. So for example, when Akshay would come to the parents telling them that their son has dyslexia, the ignorant father would say something inappropriate like 'iss umar mein- par kaise, woh to hamesha boys school mein padha hai!'. And yes, the director would think it is funny.
• In the climax of the film all the characters in the film would run around in the amphitheater for no reason, spilling colors on each other. That's where the film will end, without any logical conclusion.
• And of course, Paresh Rawal would emote like an epileptic himself making us question the boy's mental abilities anyway.