And THAT is when the fight started!

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.' .
And then the fight started...

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.' I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...........

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take
her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started.............

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school
reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat
alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right
after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' said my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started................

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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some
reason, took my order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium
rare, please." He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
" Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started.................

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A woman was standing, looking in the bedroom mirror. She
was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay
me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started..........

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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light
for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.. I told her the
beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started................

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My wife asked me if a certain dress made her back look big.
I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday..
And then the fight started.......................

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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our
anniversary?" It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And then the fight started...................

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Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made
my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I
hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a
torrential down.
The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the
garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all
day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back
into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different
anticipation, and whispered, the weather out there is terrible.' My
loving wife of 10 years replied 'Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?'
And then the fight started ..........

Women's Words

Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

Five Minutes
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine".

Go Ahead
This is a dare, not permission, DON'T DO IT!

Loud Sigh
Although not actually a word, the loud sigh is often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements that woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

Thanks
This is the least used of all words in the female vocabulary. If a woman is thanking you, do not question it, just say you're welcome and back out of the room slowly.

HEADLINES DATED 1ST JAN 2025

• President Sonia Gandhi and Prime Minister Priyanka Gandhi receive Italian Prime Minister Rahul Gandhi.

• Dhoom 17 ready for release.

• I will play next world cup - Sachin Tendulkar

• Salman, Vivek and Abhishek attend Aishwarya's 3rd marriage.

• Mein To Ab Bhi Jawan Hoon - Dev Anand's new movie set for release where he plays son of Aamir Khan & Madhuri Dixit.

• After remakes of 45 films of Amitabh, Shahrukh now to play Amitabh's role in remake of "Jhoom Barabar Jhoom".

• Petrol Rs. 999/= per ltr.

• Coach Ganguly resigns, as India went out of The World Cup in 1st round after losing to Korea.

• Navjot Siddhu will launch his own TV channel where he is the Host & the Guest too.

• Riots in the Parliament as the newly elected MPs Mallika Sheravat & Rakhi Sawant enter the assembly.

• Maruti launches its new Hovercraft "SX-25". Honda, Toyota & Tata to follow.

• A cap found in Mithi river - Sources say it belonged to a species called Himesh Reshammiya...

World Police Cars

German police car.....Lamborgini..gallardo..max speed 320km/hr

England.....Porsche ......Do I have to tell the speed...

Spain.....Audi TT....max speed 280km/hr

France.....Pegaut...Sports GT

Japan.....Lancer Evo IX...max speed 280km/hr

Now for the Ultimate Police Car in the World !!!

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India's Mahindra Jeep !!!

Max Speed not disclosed due to Security Reasons!!

Reason why never visit a 5 Star Hotel

Question : " What would you like to have ..Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo, or Coffee?"

Answer: " Tea please "

Question : " Ceylon tea, Herbal tea, Bush tea, Honey bush tea, Ice tea or green tea ?"

Answer : "Ceylon tea "

Question : "How would you like it ? Black or white ?"

Answer: "white"

Question: "Milk, Whitener, or Condensed milk ? "

Answer: "With milk "

Question: "Goat milk, Camel milk or cow milk"

Answer: "With cow milk please.

Question: " Milk from Freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?"

Answer: " Um, I'll take it black. "

Question: " Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey? "

Answer: "With sugar"

Question: " Beet sugar or cane sugar ?"

Answer: "Cane sugar "

Question:" White , brown or yellow sugar ?"

Answer: "Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead."

Question: "Mineral water or still water ? "

Answer: "Mineral water"

Question: "Flavored or non-flavored ?"

Answer: "I'll rather die of thirst